Thoughts on becoming a dad
It's difficult for me to put into words what I'm feeling right now. I tend to be a little private when it comes to family but it's hard not to want to share with the world what I'm feeling right now. In about a month (or less) we're expecting a new person here in the house. Not a roommate. Not a elderly family member coming to live with us. Nope- this is a bonafide little person that's brand new to us and the world. Isn't that an amazing idea? One moment- there's an empty (and perfectly adorned) little crib- and then another, there's a little person laying on his back starting at you thinking "you going to stare at me with that big nose all day? make yourself useful and go get me a sandwich." All joking aside (doubtful) it's an amazing idea.
I've got so many questions and concerns that seem trivial. Will he like me? What will he sound like? Will he realize that I don't know what I'm talking about most things? Will he still want to hang out with me when he realizes that I can't drive a stick? Will I embarrass him? Will he still let me give him affection when he's as old as I am now? One thing that I know for certain- Anita and I will love him more than life itself and we're beyond excited that he's on his way soon. I cannot tell you how much I love, respect, and admire my wife right now. She rarely complains about being pregnant, she treats her body with respect (not a drop of alcohol, sushi, or even deli meat since August), and she continues to make a point to spend "couple-y" time with me. It's easy to become obsessed with baby stuff- the nursery, the appointments, the runs to baby's r us- however, she still takes me on dates, gets excited about dressing up and spending time with me, and still humors me in all my ridiculous ideas and chuckles at my lame attempt at making her and others laugh. I couldn't imagine another woman that could do this job better than her. I'm in awe and I can't wait to see her as a mom. Our little guy is going to have one of the best role models I can think of. I have never loved her more in my entire life than I love her right now. I also wanted to give a quick plug to my mom. Without her I don't know how we would be able to do all of this. It's amazing seeing my mom own the idea of being a grandmother and it makes me remember all the wonderful things she did for me as a child. Probably the most important thing she taught me was not to be ashamed to show others how much you love them. This is such a simple idea yet it's amazing how reserved we tend to be around those we've known or grew up with for years. If I can show our son half as much love as she's shown me over the years then he'll never endure one lonely moment in life. So what's next? Right now it's all about last minute preparations. The nursery is done, large ticket items have been purchased, and I've told people how frantic I will be come March 25. All that's left is making sure Anita is comfortable and trying to enjoy every last minute of "relaxation" (that word has been put in quotes to show I'm being sarcastic) we have before Evan joins our family. Thanks to all our friends/family that have give us support over the past few months. It's been a wonderful experience and I've been floored by the support and genuine care that people have given us- from new coworkers to friends from college, it's been truly amazing. I am looking forward to being a Dad more than anything in the world. To think- I will have someone that, at least for a couple years, will sit still while I take thousands of pictures, sit idly while I practice my lame stand-up routine, and have a little buddy to take with me wherever I go. I truly hope I can teach him something because I already owe him big for the invaluable lessons he's taught me over the past 8 months. Not sure how to end such a rambling mess of emotions other than this: Hurry up Evan! Love, Dad.
